Patterns, patterns, patterns.
Piss poor preparation promotes pain.
That was spontaneity. That was random. That stood out! However true, I only said it because I didn't want to say, "Peter Piper picked a pepper".
I fear patterns. And although it isn't a phobia recognized by psychiatrists and the like, it is real. Rare but real. My sister, Sharmane (or Streak as she is affectionately referred), fears patterns too. But her phobia is a slightly more extreme. She is terrified by ornate patterns: paisley, polka-dots, and plaid.
One day Streak woke up sweating, swinging, and swearing. Abruptly awakened, I panicked and pulled back the blanket and I said, "It was just a bad dream Streak, you're good now, you're safe now. Chill." She continues sweating, swinging, and swearing. Confused, I pull the blanket totally off her and she calms down. Fast.
It was not a nightmare she was experiencing. It was Patternophobia, a fear of patterns, which I am naming since it isn't popular enough to already have a name. She was frightened by the fancy, ornate, paisley pattern of my blanket, which she hadn't seen before she fell asleep because the room was dimly lit.
Have you ever suddenly awaken frightened of your patterns, your routine, your habits, the same-ol'?
Human beings are creatures of habit. Even if we know a certain thing is not good for us, we continue doing it anyway. Eckhart Tolle explains it this way: some women attract abusive relationships because it's what their brains are used to. It's familiar. It's ironically comfortable. Sad but true.
SIDE NOTE: Knowledge does not correlate with behavior. Be careful of what cliches you repeat. My grand-daddy used to always say, "If you knew better you'd do better". I love him but he was wrong. He died of psorosis of the liver. He knew drinking was bad for his health. He knew it on a scientific level even. He had friends who died from this very disease. Yet, he continued a bad pattern and met a similar fate. It reminds me of a mouse stuck on a sticky trap. If you leave that mouse there long enough, even with all its squeaking and struggling, another will join him on the trap. I ask, are you men or mice?
Not all patterns or habits are detrimental to your health or harmful to your relationships. But some are just boring, dull, too predictable. You want spontaneity in your love life. You want to try new approaches to solving problems. Take a different route home from work. If you're a family who does pizza and a movie on Friday evenings, make it tacos and boardgames sometimes.
Be aware of your patterns, your habits, your routine, your rhythm. Mix-and-match them to keep life fresh and for revitalization.
I fear patterns because I don't want to predictable, boring, an average Joe, or obsolete. I love myself but I like reinventing myself. I love adding on and I love change. This doesn't mean that I am unsure of myself or searching for an identity. After all, I do have the same soul and I am very much in tune with it. Think about how many of your cells die and replicate, die and replicate. Your body is constantly being renewed. Yet you are the same person.
One day you might suddenly wake up sweating, swinging, and swearing in fright of your patterns. And if you do, you have the freedom to change your blanket.